Ok, so there really are perks and fun things that go along with planning a wedding, and yesterday was the first of what I hope will become many awesome parts to the engaged lifestyle.
My sister in Sebastopol generously threw a massive party at her house celebrating R and my engagement, my sister and her husband’s 10 year wedding anniversary, Father’s day, and Gemini birthdays. I had gone over to her house the day before the party to help get everything set up and I was finding myself nervous over things totally out of my control, and just uneasy as to whether the fiesta was going to be a home run or a strike out. The weather was cool and windy, not a good sign, we weren’t really sure who was bringing what, and what time things were going to start arriving. And being that I hadn’t been sleeping all week, suddenly in the moment I needed a clear head and vast amounts of energy, all I wanted to do was lie down for an extended nap.
To be honest, I just felt like the whole idea of having a party for a wedding was silly, and not my style. I LOVE TO PARTY, and to HAVE PARTIES…but having one for this reason just felt weird and therefore I was feeling weird. Turns out, feeling odd at the thought of people celebrating something like a wedding is the silliest thing of them all. A wedding, as much as one may or may not like, is not just about two people. Everyone associated with the couple wants to share in the joy and happiness of a new union, and it make them feel good to be able to celebrate something that they indeed love. I forgot that. So in my fretting over dishes, drinks, chairs, and weather, I forgot to get excited over celebrating friendship, babies, bonding, laughter, drinking/eating, and love- WRONG CL, WRONG!
No matter what anyone tells me, or how much lives change and develop, I still believe that friends and family are TOP O’ THE LIST IMPORTANT, and that all the work, time, money, and stress that goes into making events that people can attend and bond is worth it all. I miss my friends. All of the time, I miss my people. I hate that I love and need their company as much as I do because I see it as a sign of immaturity and weakness, but it doesn’t change that our relationship is an integral part of my survival. I maybe go from one extreme to the other in getting excited to see my peeps, to getting upset that some just don’t show (some with no explanation, ie: they can’t be fucked).
Regardless, no matter what I’m going through (and knowing me, it’s usually something surrounding nothing) or where I am (and at the moment, I’m in nowhere land. TRAVELLLLLLL! I MISS YOU!), to get balanced and centered, the easiest thing I know to do is: THROW A PARTY!