LIES, ALL LIES

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LIES, ALL LIES!

And in the beginning God created light. This was the so called beginning of the world. In our family, it started as, “I think we need to update the kitchen”. Both ideas were genius, but only one of them was followed through in a week. A WEEK!!!

This past weekend, we tried to make some light in our own life changing project, and really, came up with a lotta nothing. Progress was made, yes, but completion? No. In our home, Adam and Eve only have torsos, no legs or arms. Sorry guys, we just can’t get it together!

On Saturday, Mom and I made the valiant effort to paint the kitchen AGAIN (remember, we’ve done 2-3 coats of wall primer, 2 coats of DARK grey, and now we’re repainting with aptly named, “Hint of Grey” for just a hint of grey on the walls) and with ceilings that seem to never end, we struggled on ladders, counter tops, dangling maneuvers from both to fill in hard to reach corners and edges. Even though it’s not perfect, WE DID IT, and felt on course to begin AND COMPLETE the tiling on Sunday.

R and I woke early (missed one of the few days we have a week to stay in bed past 6:30…BOOOO!) and did yet another run to our favorite local, HOME DEPOT (shout out!), where we high fived our favorite employees, let Rusty get pet and cooed by both orange aprons and customers alike, and bought even more crap to put up on our walls. So far, so good. We got home, prepped the walls, put up the backer board, measured and cut the edging, and laid out all 7 boxes of tile to find the good pieces. SO FAR, SO GOOD.

Then it got ugly, real fast. Hand tiling is not what it looks like on House Crashers or DIY renovation shows. It’s not clean, easy to apply, or easy to wipe off. Our gorgeous hand made tiles were large and heavy, and smooshed the spaces too tightly together, making them super hard to wiggle out when the glue dried. Most tiles, because of our outlets, had to be trimmed and cut, which meant that massive amounts of time were spent trying to figure out which cut tiles went where, and attempting to make the project look more professional than primary school.

Over the course of THE FREAKING DAY, we managed 1.25 walls out of three. It was a labor…I wanted to say, it was a labor of love”, but it was just labor. Thank God we got the shitty process down, because I finished up the last.75 of wall 2 last night and this weekend, WALL NUMBER THREE, YOU’RE MINEMINEMINE!!!

I think I need you to wish me luck now…

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2 thoughts on “LIES, ALL LIES

  1. You could hire some hungry students from a local college.

    You ight be ahead of the game hiring a tiler.

    It would probably eat the savings yiou got by going to that Chinese retailer, Home Depot.

    Ah well, another learning experience to choke down.

    Think how proud you’ll be in a year when none of the tiles have fallen off the wall and you have an invite from your local DIY to star in the next Sunday’s column in the paper, maybe even with a color picture.

    What next, reinforcing the cellar stairs? —Chas—

    Like

  2. As for books, lately I’ve been reading the books of Stehen(?) Breuer about the crazy stuff going on in WWII nobody know about. Secrets, spying,etc.

    Guess I couldn’t see it from an airplane.

    Made me wonder if I was doing anything interesting or even important! —Chas—

    Like

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