What smart person word do they use when the way they actually feel is described by the word itself.
For example, if I say that I feel, “blah” I’m sure that most of you will understand immediately what that means. But just in case you grew up in a cave and never heard or felt the word blah, it means uninspired, bored, lackadasical, humph (another good sounding word), whatever, and over it. And I’m ALL of these things.
I find as I get older, I can’t keep myself occupied as easily as I did before. Everything isn’t exciting and fun, in fact, I have a hard time making things upbeat and interesting. And, honestly, I’m struggling to find out what this really means. Am I becoming less of an interesting/ed person as I get older or are things becoming so irrelevant that I don’t want to understand or give them meaning anymore? I don’t know which wich is which, but I do feel very much like all I want to do is get in my bed and watch movies.
ALL KINDS OF MOVIES, in fact. In my current state of blahness, I just want to zone out to other people’s comings and goings. Is it better being involved with Bruce Willis’ problems than my own? YES! Does it matter that Wall-E needs to save Eva rather than me grocery shopping? OF COURSE! Would I rather give my time to Ryan Gosling in his 1980’s homage to cars and being a bad ass than think about why I’m not in a doctoral program? OBVIOUSLY!
The last week has just been so blah that I’m now realizing that if I don’t strongly grab onto to something in reality and make it my own, I’ll wake up and it’ll be March and, although I will probably be incredibly rested, will have lost a month of life to netflixs, Project Runway All-Stars, The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, Gossip Girl, Glee, and Color Smash. (It actually seems to nice…)
Just grouchy, I guess. I miss traveling. I miss England. I miss feeling like there was promise in the world. oh god…I need to watch a movie immediately.