Kids…do we love ’em or not?

…I don’t think I know anymore…

So here’s the predicament that is making my stomach turn – kids.

And no, not specifically ME and R having kids, but kids…at the wedding…being crazy.

It would be my guess that everyone has either had a wedding of their own (or more), been to a wedding, helped plan a wedding, or wished they were somewhere OTHER than a wedding. And therefore everyone has advice, experience, and “I know best” mentality that they are so graciously willing to share with this bride.

But the issue about kids at the wedding is starting to make me want to puke.

First off, how to “count” a child for food, rentals, etc?

Is 0-2 years not really a human being and therefore isn’t included in the official guest list? What age “counts” as a real person for a head count?

What do I do if the kids are so rowdy that they take over the wedding itself? I know a lot of people who think if other folks are around, than their children are magically being watched and their job is to party, not babysit.

What if the kids break something in the house? What if they run out to the busy street next to the venue because there are no gates? What if they decide to play hide and go seek in the hundreds of acres of vineyards that are NOT for our use because they’re there and so tempting?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Now here comes the buckets of advice:

It has been suggested to hire a few baby sitters to watch the smalls.

It has also been suggested to UNINVITE anyone under the age of 16.

Another piece of advice was to email all of the parents and tell them the ground rules for their children and then tell the wedding coordinator to handle the parents if their children are crazy.

Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it- how to tell other people to manage their children ( I can already hear it now, “you don’t HAVE kids so don’t tell me how to parent them!!!”). I actually thought that parents would mind their kids and this wouldn’t even be an issue. But according to those that have been through this, the child issue should be handled NOW and not THEN.

R and I imagined a lovely day and evening where everyone could have fun, relax, eat BBQ, talk, drink, and play in the jumpy house. Now I’m seeing me stressed out, yelling at relatives and friends for being irresponsible with their children, freaking out on Roy, and then crying in my room. LAME! LAME TIMES ONE THOUSAND!!

But that’s how it feels right now.

It’s funny to me how one minute I’m as cool as a cucumber and then the next I’m losing my shit over chair rentals, wedding toppers, dessert tables, and lace vs. painted table cloths. I feel like NOW I want some help and that means the NOW I will ask for it.

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