It’s just NOT the truth

This whole post is ridiculous, and I want to preface it by saying- I KNOW IT. But still…I want to say…

…that I hate books like the 50 Shades of Grey series. Hate them.

Does that change the fact that I read all 3 in three days? Or that I have been not only thinking about them (still) but dreaming about them when I don’t want to? Am I in to Mommy Porn?

Yes and No.

I’ve definitely read worse series (Twilight anyone?) but what has really ticked me off is the lasting effects of trash such as this. People, I’m NOT just talking about the sex. I have a little more substance than that.

What I am talking about is this set up:

1. Shy girl, unknowing of her hotness, with clumsy tendencies grabs attention of young, hot, billionaire.

2. Man suddenly CAN’T LIVE without said clumsy, bumbling virgin.

3. Man does whatever he can in his power to make woman want him, using sex and money in her favor.

4. Girl can’t understand why this man wants her or why she should stay with him.

5. Man and girl create drama to keep each other away, all the while stressing that they’re already in love (3 week relationship) and don’t know what to do.

6. They get married, live happily ever after, all changed for the better by each other, their children perfect and they both run their own companies but have free time to travel and be with each other.

um…fuck you.

fuck all authors, characters, and plot lines that follow this strategy.

I am left NOT feeling satisfied.

I am NOT stoked that this couple has fought through their issues of sexual dominance, financial excess, and relationship confusion to end up together.

I feel gyped.

I am left irritated.

I want a fourth novel to come out telling how a life like theirs falls apart and they both end up in REAL relationships where work, patience, understanding, and financial security is a 24/7 project for LIFE.

It’s not handed to you.

I guess that’s why I like Russian Novels and Hemingway. No one ends up together. Most people suffer, grieve, and hurt, which seems more real to me. Everyone has monologues with themselves over why life ends up the way it does, and how we must take what small gifts we are presented.

It is isn’t happy.

It doesn’t have roses and diamonds.

They have substance and sorrow.

I love sorrow. But I also love joy.

Personally, I just didn’t find joy OR sorrow in the 50 Shades BS. I saw lies, all lies. And now all I want to do is watch failed love stories, burned bridges, and tears.

Yes….that sounds like a good story.

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