Seriously, How Old Am I?

So, by now you should all know that I work for UC Berkeley (YAY) which means that I’m cruising through campus almost every day. I get to enjoy the beauty and majesty which this UC provides to its students and faculty…and to underlings like me. But something happened today which just made me feel WEIRD…and OLD…and WEIRD.

There is a high school behind my building and the UC in front of my building, so tons of people meandering around my area pretty much all day long. Today when I was coming back from a meeting around lunch time I was walking through the popular area where people grub and I found that I was SHOCKED by the attire of the people around me. SHORT shorts, makeup for days, the tightest pants ever worn, feathers, boobs, ass cheeks….and what’s worse is that I didn’t know if they were above or below the 18 year old mark. I just knew that I was literally speechless with discomfort and old person disappointment seeing all these youngins wearing such classless attire.

I actually experienced the moment where I thought, “Good luck to my daughter if she ever tries to put that get up on, not while I’m her Mother!”

See, I was raised by a Mother who was raised by HER Mother, who was a showgirl. And boy did Grandma Sally have Class, with a capital C. It was of her opinion that children have manners, don’t talk out of turn, and dress to fit your BODY, not to fit the style of the day. I can’t tell you how many times growing up I heard her comment about me NOT being able to wear something because of my tookiss, and to remember that I have to accentuate my small waist, not jumbo thighs.

And I’ve honestly tried my entire life to look as well as I could, although throughout the travel years I did look pretty trashy; more so the homeless versus the slutty type though.

But today looking at these younger people I just felt like SOMEONE, ANYONE should take them aside and say as nicely as possible, “Honey, you just don’t LOOK like a whore…maybe go easy on the cleavage, feathers, and makeup”. Or “Young Man, your ass looks like shit through your tidy whities, maybe pull up your jeans to cover that mess up, please”. What IS that look? The jeans are literally belted below the butt cheeks….I just don’t get it…the entire underpant on display. So bizarre. So hideous.

But I just felt like no one was dressed in a classy, cool way. People were wearing the trends and they just weren’t working for them. What happened to looking “sharp” or “Put together”? Are sweatpants and Uggs truly a statement or just the easiest thing to “put on” when going out into the world?


Now I’m pretty sure I must have dressed like trailer trash in college…which really makes me sad. I hope people didn’t look at me like I was looking on these kids. I did have a shirt I used to wear when traveling that said, "Fuck ’em Bucky" and remember getting a lot of tsk-tsks from the over 50 crowd. Now I get it…Now I see what the fuss is all about.

I really feel like beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not one dude or chick looked hot to me today. Sad really….why else does one work on a UC campus than to stare at the students…? I mean we come here to work, to work. And look classy doing it. Duh.


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