“You need a girl who will bail on a guy in the middle of a first date to drink a bottle of wine with you while you cry it out.
You need a girl who will listen without opinions.
You need a girl who is honest enough to tell you he was so fucking wrong for you.
You need a girl who is honest enough to tell you that he’s the one and you’ll work it out.
You need a girl who takes you on a shopping spree down Robertson Blvd.
You need a girl who physically comes between you and your credit card when you’re about to buy a $7,500 handbag online.
You need a girl who mentally plots revenge on your behalf.
You need a girl who will tell you he will come crawling back to you.
You need a girl who sends you a playlist that starts with ‘It Aint Over ‘Til It’s Over.’
You need a girl who sends you a playlist that starts with ‘This Girl is On Fire.’
You need a girl who will sit on the couch in the same lululemons, in the same greasy finger-printed glasses, with the same three-days unwashed hair, and dip gluten-free pizza in dairy-free ice cream while watching Eat Pray Love with you.
You need a girl who will storm into your living room, force you out of your lululemons and greasy finger-printed glasses, stand by the bathroom door making sure you take a shower, and take you out to those places he never took you.
You need a girl who pulls back her hair, rolls up her sleeves, and goes all in on a full tray of Texas BBQ and all the sides with you.
You need a girl who pulls back her hair into an upsweep, rolls up in a flossy car, and does Sunday brunch on the patio at the new AOC with you.
It may all be the same girl. It may be six different girls. It might be your sister, your mom, your girlfriend, your BFF, your gay boyfriend, your dentist, your co-worker, your boss lady. It doesn’t matter.
You need girls.”