Flash Me Your Bird and I WILL STONE IT TO DEATH!


I think it’s already pretty obvious how I feel about the sheer lack of consideration that people in general have towards their common man. Whether it’s the forgetfulness to toss a casual wave when a car stops for you at a crosswalk, or saying “excuse me” when stepping in front of another person. It makes me mad and sad that we have lost that aspect of ourselves which recognizes the golden rule and actually applies it in their daily lives.

But something WORSE has started to creep up which is even MORE terrifying and disheartening.




The Middle Finger.

The Bird.

The big F-U.

Suddenly, I’m scared to look in my rearview mirror when crossing into a lane. My side-window has become a portal into rage-filled, insanity-rearing, psychos who want nothing more than to swear at me with the benefit of car and freeway between us for their protection.

Because, let’s be honest, who would ever walk up to another person and put up their middle finger right in their face when the end result could be a sock straight to the eye. Now, that’s scary.

But feeling safe enough, sassy enough, entitled enough to virtually swear into the face of a stranger for something that merely made you a bit pissy is pathetic and bizarre. Have we really lost all contact with reality where nothing is expected when it comes to courtesy, manners, and restraint? Are we all just animals who act on instinct and survival, throwing out the proverbial window all the lessons that June Cleaver taught us throughout the course of Leave it to Beaver!?!?

Not only do I think it’s scary aggressive and rude, I also think it’s dangerous. I would NEVER go up to a person on the street, say “FUCK YOU” and bounce because I would be absolutely petrified they would hurt me, cut me, punch me, or worse.

Don’t ever mess with a stranger’s rage. You just don’t know.

But now imagine how this whole scenario could go down if the person on the receiving end of the finger was actually filled with psychotic rage from being laughed at as a kid, pantsed as a child during homeroom, bullied, abused, high, which has now caused their MASSIVE truck to ram into your little Fiat, and once you’ve been tossed to the side of the freeway in a metal heap (which may or may not be on fire; that thought should be out there as well), the offended person could then come to your vehicle and show you oh-so personally how your middle finger rebellion truly made them feel.

I don’t mean to go all Alfred Hitch scary on everyone this Monday AM, I’m just saying, we don’t need one extra thing in our lives which heightens anger, fear, retaliation or hate. WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS AS IS – LET IT GOOOOOO!

When you feel that you’ve been wronged in a car (or other…) just let it go. Woooosahhhhh the feelings of insanity right out of your body. Go meditate. Have a happy hour cocktail. Watch an episode of Arrested Development. Toss a tennis ball to your dog. Make love. Make a sandwich.


Be the number one.

Besides, it feels good to be the best at something. Maybe this is your best. Try it.


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